Her head snapped toward me. “Oh, honey, he wanted to talk to you more than anything, but it’s not that simple.”

“Seems simple to me. You open your mouth and talk.” I struggled to sit still. Had he heard of my escapades? Gods know rumors of my problems with authority had traveled far and wide. Had he been embarrassed as a trained Sentinel? Worse yet, as a father? “I just don’t understand.”

She took a breath. “He was close to you a lot when you were there and you didn’t know, but it was also very dangerous for him to be seen around you. The truth of what he is, what your mother was, and what you are, was too much of a risk. You already had too many eyes on you.”

The conversation Seth and I had overheard came back to me. We already have one here. Anger sparked and was quick to ignite a fire inside me. Marcus… Marcus had known, and now that it was all out in the open, we were so going to talk about that.

“What I told you in the library that night? That he would be proud of you because of who you have become and not what you will become?” She clasped my fisted hand in her gentle grip. “That is the truth. From the moment you arrived back at the Covenant last summer, I did my best to keep him up-to-date on how you were. Your mother… she didn’t know what had happened to him and Alexander wanted it that way. In a way, death was easier than the truth.”

I blinked away sudden tears and wanted to pull my hand free, but like always, Laadan’s calming nature was disarming.

“Things are more complicated than you realize, Alex. He couldn’t talk to you.”

Shaking my head, I tried and failed to understand that. I’d think that a father would’ve done anything to speak to his daughter just once.

Laadan squeezed my hands and let go. “The Masters always suspected that your father was different, and that perhaps he was influencing other servants. They treated him quite cruelly. He cannot talk to you, Alex. They removed half his tongue.”

I balked at what she said. I’d heard her wrong. There were no other options. “No. I saw him talking with another servant in the dining hall.”

She shook her head sadly. “If anything, you saw a servant talking tohim.”

Forcing myself to remember the morning after I’d been slipped the Brew more clearly, I tried to see my father and the younger servant. Things had looked tense and his back had been to me most of the time. I’d assumed that he’d been talking by the reaction of the other servant.

I hadn’tseen him talk.

Shooting to my feet, I heard Laadan’s little gasp of surprise. Even I was a little shocked by how fast I moved. The marks of the Apollyon appeared on my skin and tingled as they glided in various directions. She couldn’t see them, but some innate sense coaxed her to scoot back.

“They cut out his tongue?” Power surged over my skin.

“Yes.”

That was it. I was going to take out the Council and every freaking Master on this planet. Bad, dangerous thoughts, but gods, how could they do something like that?

“How can I be so surprised?” I said out loud, and then laughed madly. “How am I surprised by this, Laadan?”

There was no answer.

Turning away, I struggled to control my fury. Already I could hear the branches slapping along the side of the cabin. Knowing my luck, I’d probably cause an earthquake. Controlling the elements was easy, but I’d learned through the Awakening that my emotions affected them, made them violent and unpredictable.

As did the amount of aether, the essence of the gods, that coursed through my veins.

Our society had always been cruel to the half-bloods. Pures had always taken a role of dominance, and the things that I knew went on behind the closed doors of some of the pures—things no one talked about, things I wanted to rage about—happened every day. And like every other half, I’d been in a subservient role my entire life. I’d grown up being taught to accept these things, because there was no other choice for me, or for any other half. Even after living in the mortal world, I’d come back into the fold, barely missing a step when I’d seen the servants.

And only once had I intervened. I’d received a punch in a jaw for it, but stopping a Master from striking a female servant was nothing compared to what those halfs went through.

In reality, it was more than accepting the Breed Order. I’d grown cold to it, because it hadn’t affected me.

And that was inexcusable.

Stepping away, I ran my hands down my outer thighs. The breath I inhaled was harsh. This was bigger than me and my own problems with becoming a Sentinel and continuing on while others of my kind were enslaved. This was more than my father. It was the Breed Order.

“This has to change,” I said.

“I agree, but…”

But now, right this instant, there was nothing I could do. Believe it or not, we had bigger problems. The Breed Order and how halfs were treated wouldn’t matter if we were all dead.

Facing Laadan, I realized something huge—huge to me, at least. Old Alex would’ve probably stormed off somewhere and kicked a Master in the junk. A huge part of me wanted to do that, but the new Alex—this girl/woman/whatever who came out of nowhere knew that some battles had tobe planned.

That new Alex waited.

I sort of struck myself speechless.

Laadan, more observant than I realized, smiled and patted the spot beside her. “You’re growing up.”

“I am?” Seemed late in the game for that sort of nonsense. I sat, and when she nodded, I sighed and sounded ten years older. “Growing up sucks, then.”

“There is a naiveté to young selfishness.”

My brows rose. I was itchy, like I had slipped on more responsible and mature skin and a part of me didn’t like that. Shaking it off, I went back to my dad. “You talk to him a lot?”

“As much as I can. Communication is one-sided at times, but he can write, obviously. I know he got your letter, but unfortunately with everything happening, I do not know his response or if he had the chance.”

I nodded in a jerking motion. “Do you know where he is right now?”

She fingered the lace on the edge of her sweater. “Alexander is at the New York Covenant.”

“He’s still there?” When she nodded, I wanted to get up and figure out how to get to New York, but logic seeped in. It would be near impossible to get to him. And with Seth out there, looking for us? It would just be plain stupid to go running off.

“When the Elixir stopped working, there was a lot of confusion among the servants. There are very few like him who resisted the compulsions. Those who are going through their own awakening of sorts need a leader, and that is your father. There is a lot of turmoil there, with the recent attack and with what the First is doing.”

But I wanted to scream that I needed him here with me. Wasn’t I more important? His long-lost daughter? I frowned. Well, good to see some of my naïve selfishnesswas still present.

“Does he still love my mother?” I asked, peeking at her.

Her expression was guarded. “I think a part of him will always love her.”

“Do you love him?” I blurted out.

Laadan swallowed and a long pause followed. In the gap, I heard someone moving around in the kitchen.

I started to grin. “You like him.”

Looking away, her lips pursed.

I nudged her with my elbow. “You like him a lot.”

She drew herself up. “Your father—”

“Is the love of your life?”

“Alexandria,” she snapped, but there was no real heat to her tone.

I laughed as I leaned back against the cool windowpane. I knew that my parents had this wondrous, forbidden love affair that started long before Stepfather Douchey had come into the picture. And if it hadn’t been for the Breed… the godsdamn Breed Order, they’d still be together. Gods, so many things would be different. Namely my mother… she’d still be alive, because I bet my dad was like Aiden. He would’ve never allowed anything to happen to my mom.