'It has been known,' I said dully.

'But Bren's already given up the place he was renting and we can't move into our new flat by then,' said Kerry, 'though the owner's in an old people's home and our solicitor promises she'll do it as quickly as possible.'

'So,' said Brendan, smiling at me. He poured himself a second glass of wine and took a slurp of it.

'So if that happens, which maybe it won't anyway, we're in a bit of a fix,' said Kerry. 'And we wondered if we could come and stay at yours. Only for a few days, a week or two at the very most.'

'What about…?'

'Of course we'd go to Derek and Marcia's,' said Brendan, 'except their house is going to be a complete bomb site for the next few months. Well, you know better than us the nightmare that can be to live in. They might even have to move out for a bit themselves.'

'Would it be possible, Miranda?' asked Kerry.

I wondered why Kerry wanted to stay with me in the first place. If it had been the other way round, I would have tried to keep a safe distance between Brendan and his ex-girlfriend, not put them in the same small flat together, even if – or especially if – that ex-girlfriend was my sister. Maybe I just had a more suspicious nature than she did. Or maybe she was asserting to herself, and to me and Brendan, that she knew she had nothing to fear. I looked at her, but I couldn't read her expression.

'My flat's so small,' I said hopelessly. 'I haven't even got a spare bedroom.'

'You've got your sofa bed,' said Brendan.

'It might not even happen,' said Kerry. 'And we won't get in your way. We'll keep everything tidy and cook for you, and you'll hardly notice us before we're gone. A week.'

'Haven't you got friends with a bigger place? Where you'd be more comfortable.'

'Miranda, you're my sister.' Kerry had tears in her eyes. She darted a look at Brendan and he took her hand and stroked it. 'You're family. It's not such a big thing we're asking. Mum and Dad were certain you wouldn't mind. I thought you wouldn't mind. I thought you might even be pleased to have us here. It didn't occur to me that

'Perhaps Mirrie is still finding it painful,' said Brendan softly.

'What?!'

'We shouldn't have asked you,' continued Brendan. 'It wasn't fair. Maybe you're not ready for this.'

I squeezed my wine glass so tightly in my hand I thought it would break.

'But you do kind of owe it to Kerry, don't you?' His voice was still soft and insinuating. 'After what happened. Mmm? Mmm?'

'Sorry?' said Kerry.

I stared at Brendan. There was red behind my eyes and I thought of throwing my wine into his face, of smashing my glass against his cheek, of kicking him in the legs, punching him as hard as I could in his belly, pushing him violently out of the door.

'Miranda?' said Kerry. 'Just a few days?'

I turned to her and tried to focus on her reproachful face. I thought of lying in my bed and knowing Brendan was a few feet away, on the sofa, with my sister. Of getting up in the morning and seeing him sitting at the kitchen table, as if he belonged there. Bumping into him on my way to the bathroom… But maybe I could stay with Nick for a night or two, or even with Laura. Maybe go away for the weekend somewhere. Anywhere.

'All right,' I said. 'One week.'

Kerry gripped my hand, and Brendan came towards me with outstretched arms. If he touched me, I would scream, vomit, become violent. I ducked out of reach.

'I'm going to have that interrupted bath now,' I said. 'Finish your wine.'

The water was tepid, but I lowered myself into it anyway. I closed my eyes and sank beneath the surface, where I waited for my heart to stop battering itself against my chest. When I came up for air, I heard a knocking at the door, Brendan calling my name.

'What?'

'The phone for you. I answered it. Hope you don't mind.'

'Who is it?' I asked, reaching for a towel.

'Someone called Nick,' said Brendan. 'He seemed a bit surprised to get me.'

I yanked open the door and marched through to the living room. 'I'll take it in my bedroom. You can put it down out here.'

'Is this Nick your new boyfriend?' When I didn't answer he put his arm around Kerry and pulled her close to him before saying, 'That's wonderful news, Mirrie. We're so glad for you.'

I pulled sharply at my bedroom door and it shut with a bang. I picked up the phone.

'Nick?'

'I just wanted to hear your voice. How are you?'

'All the better for speaking to you,' I said.

Then I heard breathing. There was someone on the other line. I waited until there was a small click. A few moments later, I heard the front door shut.

I leaned over the dishes of curry and cleared my throat.

'There's something I want to say. It's nothing serious,' I added, seeing his suddenly wary look. 'I just felt that when we were talking with Laura and Tony, things came out wrong.'

'It's not a big deal,' Nick said.

'I know it isn't,' I said. 'But I've been thinking. I want to be completely straight with you.'

'Weren't you being straight?'

'I was, but it came out in a confused way that felt wrong. So I want to tell you about it in a clear way. It's really very simple.'

I took a sip of wine and then gave him a basic digest of what had happened with Brendan and Kerry and my family.

'You see,' I said. 'He was someone I had no strong feelings about, except maybe that by the end I thought he was a bit of a creep. But now he's with my sister and everybody's going on about how she's happier than she's ever been, so, you know…'

'So maybe you're starting to wonder if you made a mistake.'

'What do you mean?'

'Breaking up with him.'

I pulled a face.

'Oh, God, not for a single second. I broke up with him assuming I'd never see him again, and now he's part of the furniture.'

Nick cut a piece of tandoori chicken with his fork and ate it with deliberation.

'So why did you go out with him if he's a creep?'

'We only saw each other a few times. Then I stopped going out with him.'

'It's strange to think of you with someone like that.'

'Have you never started going out with someone and then gradually realized that you didn't like them that much after that?'

'I don't know,' said Nick.

'You've never been attracted to someone and then once you've got over the attraction found that there was nothing left?'

'I'm just wondering what you'll think when you get to know me,' said Nick.

'I think I know,' I said. 'That's why I'm going to such trouble to explain it to you.'

'You don't need to explain anything to me.'

'But…'

'Let's go home.'

Afterwards we lay side by side, the room dark except for the glow of the street lights around the curtain edges. I lay with my head on Nick's chest, stroking his stomach softly down to the edge of his soft pubic hair. His breathing was slow and regular, and I thought he might be asleep, but then he spoke.

'What did he say?'

'What?' I said.

'Brendan,' Nick said. 'What was it he said? I mean, what did he really say?'

I raised myself on an elbow and looked down at his face.

'You can ask me anything, you know,' I said.

'That's why I'm asking.'

'I was going on to say that some things aren't good to know. Sometimes you can feel contaminated by knowing something.'

'But once you mentioned it, I had to know. It's hard not to think about it. It can't be so bad.'

I felt a chilliness on my skin, like I'd once felt cold while suffering from a fever.

'He said…' I drew a deep breath and said it in a rush. 'He said he was thinking how he had come in my mouth. I felt – well, I left the room and threw up. So now you know. Now you know the truth.'