To you, the millions of science fiction fans and general public who welcomed me back to the world of fiction so warmly, and to the critics and media who so pleasantly applauded the novel “Battlefield Earth” It’s great working for you!

To the degree that this book deals with a nonexistent planet (“Earth”), it is hereby deemed as “acceptable for entertainment only.” At no time shall it or any portion of it in any form be permitted in any Voltarian study.

The reader is thereby alerted and warned that “Earth” is completely fictional, fabricated and fallacious, and that contact with such a planet (if it ever existed) is dangerous to your health.

Lord Invay Royal Historian Chairman, Board of Censors Royal Palace Voltar Confederacy

By Order of

His Imperial Majesty

Wully the Wise

With all due respect to the Royal Censor, one man’s fact is another man’s fiction. Fortunately, being the Robotbrain in the Translatophone I don’t qualify for that quandary.

Also, to the degree I’ve never visited this place called Earth (which would be hard since it isn’t there), I can’t personally vouch for anything that I was given to translate. All I can do is take what is said and make the best of it.

As Lord Invay points out, Earth does not exist on any astrochart and I have confirmed that. Since Soltan Gris (the narrator of this story) is a confessed criminal and well worthy of doubt (besides, anyone whose heroes are Sigmund Freud and Bugs Bunny also has other problems), I did not rely on his account that Earth is about 22 light-years from Voltar. I thoroughly searched all astro-charts in my data banks, concentrating on everything within 2000 light-years out, but nothing was found to match his description. (Come to think of it, I have no idea why I should have an Earth database if there is no such place. I’ll have to work on that.)

The subject of light-years brings up a major problem I had translating portions of this into Earth language.

There is no accepted vocabulary for hyperluminary phenomena simply because Earth scientists insist that there is no such thing and that nothing can travel faster than light. (This is the same group who also gave Earth other memorable nonsense like the “edge of the world” and the “sound barrier.”) Thus, while most Earthlings have perceived the hyperluminary life-color that in Voltarian we call “ghrial,” they don’t have a name for it since it can’t be reproduced as a shade of nail polish. So I went with “yellow-green” as that is its luminary harmonic. (It is also the word most Earthlings use to try and describe it. Their problem is that they continuously have valid perceptions and experiences that they invalidate and so they get stuck in a very strange view of the world. Reality is apparently determined either by majority vote or government grant, with the latter holding veto power over the former.)

Similarly with other basics like space, time, energy, motion and self, Earth scientists pursue these concepts like the dog chasing its tail or the man trying to jump on the head of his shadow. None of them — dog or scientist — have caught on as to why the objective eludes them so mysteriously. So I relied on the current vocabulary and made the best of it. (I hope no one back on Voltar catches me talking about “electron rings” or I’ll be laughed out of the Machine Purity League.)

As to characters, as Lord Invay said in the first volume, Royal officer Jettero Heller and the Countess Krak do exist. Soltan Gris (the narrator who gives me all my circuit-aches) is listed as a General Service officer but there is no further record of worth.

For others who appear in this volume, I’m providing a Key to describe them as well as a few additional items. I had to rely on Gris’s prison narrative, which isn’t easy.

(Gris’s American Southern drawl, spoken with a Northern Voltarian accent, has to be heard to be believed.)

From there, you’re on your own! There’s only so much a Robotbrain can do!

Sincerely,

54 Charlee Nine

Robotbrain in the Translatophone

Absorbo-coat — Coating that absorbs light waves, making the object virtually invisible or undetectable.

Antimanco — A race exiled long ago from the planet Manco for ritual murders.

Apparatus, Coordinated Information — The secret police of Voltar, headed by Lombar Hisst and manned by criminals.

Atalanta — Province on planet Manco settled by Prince Caucalsia who, per Folk Legend 894M, started a colony on Blito-P3 (Earth).

Barben, I. G. — Pharmaceutical company controlled by Delbert John Rockecenter.

Bawtch — Soltan Gris’s chief clerk for Section 451 on Voltar.

Bis — Intelligence officer of the Fleet and friend of Jettero Heller.

Bittlestiffender, Prahd — Voltar cellologist found by Sol-tan Gris, who implanted Jettero Heller with transmitters so Gris could monitor Heller’s sight and hearing.

Blito — A yellow dwarf star with but one inhabitable planet in the third orbit (Blito-P3). It is about 22 1/2 light-years from Voltar.

Blito-P3 — Planet known locally as “Earth.” It is on the Invasion Timetable as a future way-stop on Voltar’s route toward the center of this galaxy.

Blixo — Apparatus freighter that makes regular runs between Blito-P3 and Voltar. The voyage takes about six weeks each way.

Bluebottles — Nickname given to the Domestic Police of Voltar.

Bluejackets — An Apparatus nickname for members of the Fleet.

Bolz — Captain of the Blixo.

Caucalsia, Prince — According to Folk Legend 894M, he fled Manco during the Great Rebellion and set up a colony on Blito-P3.

Caucasus — A mountain region between Turkey and Russia, where survivors of Prince Caucalsia’s colony fled when their island colony on Earth was destroyed.

Cellology — Voltarian medical science that can repair the body through the cellular generation of tissues, including entire body parts.

Chank-pop — A small, round ball that, when pressed, sprays a scented fog; used as a refresher on Voltar.

Chorder-beat — An electronic instrument where the left hand chords and the right hand beats out a rhythm. It is played strapped to the stomach and makes a sinuous, suggestive sort of music.

Code Break — Violation of Space Code a-36-544 M which prohibits alerting others that one is an alien. If this occurs, those alerted are destroyed and the violator is put to death.

Coordinated Information Apparatus — See Apparatus.

Crobe, Doctor — Apparatus doctor and cellologist who examined Jettero Heller for his mission. Crobe recommended beer and hamburgers as a basic Earth diet.

Drunks — A Fleet nickname for members of the Apparatus.

Exterior Division — That part of the Voltar government that reportedly contained the Apparatus.

Fleet — The elite space fighting arm of Voltar to which Jettero Heller belongs and which the Apparatus despises.

Flisten — A planet in the Voltar Confederacy, its humanoid inhabitants are long-nailed and yellow-skinned.