"I decided that I would give you the out. If you thought I was an ass, you would move on and be happy. I wanted you to find someone, to fall in love with someone. Someone that was available. Someone that wasn't me. I knew that if you held onto me that you wouldn't give anyone else a chance. There was only one flaw in my plan. I couldn't give up on you. That's why there are so many letters."

"You’re an idiot." I keep my voice calm as I insult him. He smiles at me, that devious smirk of his making its appearance after only a few seconds.

"I agree. Do you know the difference between that version of me and this one?" I shake my head. "This me, the one sitting across from you right now, isn't willing to give up so easily. He doesn't want to leave here without you. He wants it all but only if you're by his side."

I want to throw my arms around his neck and declare my love for him. I want to kiss him and ask him to take me to bed. I want him to make love to me tonight and wake up cuddled in his arms tomorrow morning. I want so many things right now. None of which makes this decision easier.

"I want that too, Luke. I'm just not sure if I want it right now. I need more time. I need to sort things out in my head." I can't believe I just said that out loud.

Luke slowly pushes himself out of his chair and stands in front of me. He bends over and kisses me softly on the lips, then the cheek and finally the top of my head. "Take as much time as you need. You know how to reach me. I love you, Reagan. I always have and I always will."

I close my eyes and let his words sink in. When I open them again he's gone. I know that I won't see him again until I decide to. If I decide to. The choice is in my hands.

I gather up all the letters that are scattered across the table. I need to get some rest. If I can see these, I'll spend all night thinking about them or reading them. I stick them back in the bag Luke delivered them in. All of them except the two he handed me earlier and a few others. I'll read them in the morning before I pick up Felicity.

The bag goes in my closet. Out of sight, out of mind. Sort of. The ones I kept aside get tucked in my nightstand for the morning. As I crawl under the covers, I replay my conversation with Luke over again. Did I make a mistake letting him go for now? Was I honest with him? Was I honest with myself?

I have the urge to call Elliot and tell him all about it. I've had that urge since Luke reappeared. Every time it happens it stands as a reminder that he's not here anymore. What would he tell me to do? He seemed to have an opinion the last few years. I didn't always agree with it and he didn't always share it with me, but I know he had his thoughts on the situation. Maybe Felicity will be able to shed some light on it. If she's up to talking about Elliot, that is.

I close my eyes as exhaustion sets in. Sleeps takes me quickly.

"Wake up, Reagan!"

Who is shouting my name? I open my eyes to find Elliot sitting next to me on my bed, smiling at me from ear to ear. Elliot!

"Elliot. Is that you?" I sit up and reach my hand out to touch him and he's there. I can feel his arm, his skin.

"It's me. I miss you, Reagan."

"I miss you too."

"So, Luke?"

"Wow! That took you all of two seconds to bring up. At least you said that you missed me first." I can't help but laugh at my friend.

"I knew you needed me. He's always been a pain in the ass." He's never been one to skirt around the truth.

"Some things haven't changed." I have to look away from him. My heart is aching. "You already know what's happening. Why are you asking?"

"I want to know what you're thinking. You've been waiting for this your whole life it seems like. Now you have the chance to be together and you sent him away. That doesn't seem like you. The Reagan I know would have jumped at the chance to be with him. What's changed?"

"I lost my best friend. My other best friend is coming home tomorrow. I have to go back to work eventually. I broke up with Will." I pause for a second. None of those answers are going to be good enough for Elliot. "I have too much to work out right now. I need time."

"He leaves to go back home tomorrow."

"I know. He's going home, to his home, the home that's across the country. He doesn't live here, Elliot. He doesn't want to live here."

"And you think that wouldn't change if you were a part of his life?"

"I don't know."

"Because you didn't ask. You didn't give him a chance. You didn't talk about it. You sent him away with the excuse that you needed time to decide what you wanted. He did that to you and look how it ended. You both spent ten years loving each other but not being honest with each other." Elliot's words hit deep. I don't miss the point he's trying to make.

"Whose side are you on?"

"I'm not taking sides. I just don't want you to make the same mistake Luke did. That's the direction you're headed right now."

"I love you, Elliot, I do, but you don't know what you're talking about. Just because I need time to work through a few things doesn't mean that I'm going to lose contact with him for ten years. I want to be with him, but it's a little more complicated than you're making it sound." I'm exasperated with him. He's starting to piss me off and I don't want to be mad at him.

"Explain it to me then. Do you still love him?"

"You know I do."

"Then what's the problem? Do you want to end up like me?"

I feel like I've been slapped across the face. The first tear falls and I'm powerless to stop it. "You shouldn't have... it's unfair."

"Life isn't fair, Reagan. I wish I was still here. I wish I could hug you right now and help you two make sense of your relationship. I wish I could hold Felicity, kiss her one more time. What I want doesn't matter though, because nothing is going to change my situation. You, however, can change yours. I know you want to so figure it out. Sometimes love is enough, Reagan. This is one of those times."

The tears won't stop. I wipe my eyes with the sheet and catch my breath. When I look back up Elliot's gone. I take a deep breath before the first sob escapes my chest. I let it all out. I let go of everything I've been trying to keep inside.

The ringing of my phone wakes me up. I reach across the bed and silence it. The sun is shining through the curtains. I look down at my display and see Felicity's smiling face staring back at me.

"Hello," I mumble as I roll back over and pull the covers up to my chin.

"Are you still in bed? I thought you were going to come and get me?" Felicity sounds confused. She should. I haven't slept past sunrise in years.

"I am coming to get you. What time is it?"

"Almost noon. I've been waiting for you."

Shit! I didn't realize I slept that late. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes. "I'm on my way. I just need to change." My hand is wet when I pull it away from my face. I look down at my pillow, the tear stains evident, and my dream comes back to me. Elliot.

"Grab me a coffee on your way. See you in a bit." Felicity hangs up before I have a chance to respond.

I stare at my pillow for a few minutes before forcing myself to change and head to the hospital. Elliot's words ring loud and clear. I know what I need to do. My heart feels lighter, my spirits higher. Elliot was right. Sometimes love is enough. I hope this is one of those time.