THERE'S AN ENVELOPE sitting on the front steps when Felicity and I finally make it home. I snag it but not before Felicity sees it. I expect an inquisition, but it never comes. Only a sly, knowing smile.

I help her to the couch and head to the kitchen to make her some coffee. I was lost in thought on the way to pick her up and forgot her request. I could use a cup myself.

The letter never leaves my mind as Felicity and I sit on the patio and stare at the ocean in silence. I refill both of our cups twice before she finally says what's on her mind.

"It's nice to be home."

"It's nice to have you home. This place isn't the same without you. It's too quiet." I think about all the times I've walked in the past week to deafening silence. The knowledge that I was alone was the most unbearable part. It felt different than when Felicity use to stay the night over at Elliot's house.

"You haven't been completely alone though. Have you?" She knows the answer to her own question so I don't bother responding. "Are you going to read it? I'm assuming it's another letter from Luke."

"I'm sure it is. I'll read it later. Right now I want to relax and enjoy your company."

"Isn't he leaving today? Don't you think you should read that letter before he's gone?" She has a valid point, but I already have a plan. I wasn't counting on another letter before I put my plan in motion. "Reagan?"

"I hear you. I have a plan."

"Does it include reading that letter anytime soon?"

"I didn't expect him to write me another letter." No reason to beat around the bush. She's going to make me talk about it no matter if I want to or not. "I'm afraid it says goodbye. If it does, my plan doesn't matter."

"I doubt that. If there's anything I've learned in the last week it's that love is worth fighting for. Even if you only have it for a short period of time, the time you did spend together was worth every heartbreaking moment. Elliot may be gone, but I'll never stop loving him. If there's one thing that makes life worth living, its love. Love is enough, Reagan. I know you still love him so why don't you let him love you back? It's what you've always wanted. It's why you've been holding on all these years. It's why no other man has ever measured up. They weren't Luke. They weren't who you wanted at the end of the day. Now you have a chance to be together. You should take it. Don't waste another minute. Life is too short. I think we all learned that."

There are tears streaming down Felicity's face. She started to get choked up and they started falling the second she said Elliot's name. My own tears started to fall as I watched her put on a brave face for me. She shouldn't have to do that. I should be the one comforting her, sharing encouraging words with her and yet she's pushing me to move forward with my life.

I can only nod my head. My voice is lost. There are no words that will take away the pain we both feel right now. There are no words that will bring Elliot back to us. All we have now are the amazing memories we created. We're going to have to hold onto them for dear life.

I excuse myself and head inside to face my fears. I pull the letter from my purse and head to my room, closing the door behind me. If it is a goodbye letter, I'm going to need to be alone after I read it.

Reagan,

I'm leaving for the airport in a few minutes. I just wanted you to know that if it's time you want, take as much as you need. I'll be waiting for you when you make your decision.

I don't need time. I know exactly what I want. You. I've wanted this for as long as I can remember. I was afraid to have it, but I'm not afraid anymore. I know I've told you this before, but I'll say it again.

I love you, Reagan. I always have and I always will. There is no doubt in my mind that you feel the same way. That's why I'll be waiting.

I need for you to do me one favor, though. Please don't make me wait as long as I made you wait. I don't think I will be able to survive another ten years without you by my side. I know I said you could take as much time as you needed, but that was a lie. Please hurry.

I'm ready to start the rest of my life. That can't happen until we're together.

I love you.

Always in my heart,

Luke

Definitely not a goodbye letter.

I didn't understand until now why he signed his letters that way. Always in my heart. It couldn't be truer. If he's held onto his love for me this long, he's going to hold on forever. The feeling is mutual.

I hear Felicity calling my name and I run into the living room. She's sitting in a chair near the door, out of breath. Her face is ghostly white and her hands are shaking.

"What's wrong?" You can't miss the concern in my voice as I rush to her side.

"Nothing. I think the coffee was a mistake. It all came back up on the patio." I look past her and confirm her story.

"Are you feeling better now that it's out of your system?"

"A little," she says as she gains control of her breathing. "Can you grab me some water?"

I grab a bottle out of the fridge and bring it back to her. The shaking has stopped and her face has a little color back in it. She sips the water for a few minutes. I watch her closely for any signs that I need to rush her back to the hospital.

"I promised my parents that I would call them today once I was settled. Can you help me to my room so that I can call them and then take a nap?" I nod and grab her elbow to help her stand. "You should call Luke while I'm taking a nap."

Very subtle, Felicity. Elliot rubbed off on her apparently.

"I'll think about it." In fact, I think I'll do more than think about it. I think I'll actually call him.

Once Felicity is settled, I pour myself a glass of wine and I step back out on the patio. My phone is sitting on the table, taunting me. I want to call him. I calculate the time difference. He's three hours ahead of us now. It's just past nine his time. Where has the day gone?

Screw it!

I pick up my phone, scroll through my contact and hit the call button before I back out. It goes straight to voicemail. I dial again and get his voicemail again. I set my phone back on the table, defeated. Maybe he's still on the plane? Maybe he forgot to turn his phone back on?

He's not avoiding me. I know that for sure.

I reach for my phone again and it rings in my hand. I smile spreads across my face and then vanishes. Wrong Evans boy.

"Hey, James. What's going on?"

"Not a whole lot. Just checking in. I wanted to make sure you were okay." He sounds like Elliot on the phone. His concern for my well-being warms my heart.

"I'm fine. Felicity came home today."

"I know. That was my next question. How's she doing?"

"She's resting right now. We found that coffee was not a good idea. In fact, I should probably clean it off my deck before it bakes into the wood."

"Gross. I could have lived without that image in my head. Thanks." I have to laugh at James. He's always been the squeamish one of the three boys. "Not funny, Reagan. You know that shit bothers me."

"Sorry. How are you by the way?"

"I'm doing fine. My parents are hibernating at the house, avoiding phone calls and visits from everyone, even me. I guess they saw Luke before he left, but that's it. I tried to call them before I called you and the phone was busy. I think my dad finally took it off the hook. Both of their cell phones are going straight to voicemail. I'm worried about them."