“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry. You don’t have to feel like an outsider. You’re not an outsider. You’re more important to me than anyone, my darling. Carl and Veronica – they’re not important anymore. I mean – “ he cleared his throat, “I mean, they’re not important. They don’t matter anymore. We’ve got each other now.”

Bella lay for a moment, pondering his words. Then she turned to face him.

“Don’t shut me out, Jake.”

“I won’t.” He kissed her, whispering to her through the kiss. “I won’t shut you out. You’re more important to me than – than anything. Don’t you worry about that.”

“I love you,” whispered Bella. He said nothing. His arms tightened around her and she felt his face against her neck, his breathing light and fast against her. She waited for him to speak, stroking the back of his neck, feeling the thud of his pulse beneath her fingers.

Chapter Nine

She heard his footsteps come along the hallway, the double-creak of the loose board outside the bathroom, the darkening of the doorway as his shadow moved before him. Then he was there, framed in the doorway. Bella looked into the mirror in front of her, watching Jake’s reflection as he stood at the entrance to the room. She watched the expression on his face move from a sardonic grin to delighted surprise.

“Wow. You look – wow - ”

Veronica put her hand to Bella’s temple, pushing a sparkling hairpin more firmly into the mass of hair that was coiled about her head. Bella sat with her hands folded neatly in her lap, her shoulders swathed in faded silk. She watched herself watching herself, sitting serenely in front of the mirror. For a moment, she saw herself and Veronica as Jake was seeing them; the two of them like a Rossetti painting made flesh, blurred swirls of oil paint come to life; glittering with beads; the shimmer of candlelight on glossed lips and eyelids and shoulders; silk scarves loosely binding their flushed skin. Veronica wore her hair twisted into snaky blonde ropes and her small pointed breasts were just visible through the cobweb-thin muslin of her dress. Bella felt her own breasts strain against the corset she wore, the clasp of the boning about her ribcage half discomfort and half secret pleasure. For a moment, she could almost feel what Jake was feeling; swelling desire at the sight of two beautiful women; unease at interrupting some unseen, esoteric feminine ritual. She could see him getting ready to speak and for a moment she held her breath - it almost felt like a sacrilege, for his masculine tones to break through the warm scented silence that filled the room. He did speak, though, and his voice ruptured the illusion of sacred space. All at once it was just Veronica’s bedroom again, and they were just two pretty girls dressed in lace and cheap jewellery.

Jake cleared his throat. She could see him struggling for the right tone, the tone he’d come up the stairs with, the face he’d worn before he’d seen them both – jokey, matey, semi-exasperated. He just about managed it.

“Come on ladies. You can only make yourselves so beautiful, you know. Time and tide wait for no man.”

“We’re not men, though, are we?” Veronica smiled and stretched a long arm out to clamp the final pin to Bella’s hair.

“You can’t hurry beauty like this.”

“Don’t I know it.” Jake looked at Bella, meeting her eyes in the mirror. “You look beautiful,” he said and she felt suddenly, ridiculously shy.

She could see him shake himself mentally. Did she really have that much power? The thought gave her a shiver. He kept his eyes on her reflected eyes, watching her face in the mirror. Bella rose, tucking the silk folds of her dress into the crook of her arm. She caught sight of herself again as she moved, more slowly than normal, across the room and it took her breath away. She looked like a silent movie star, all big, shadowed eyes and silk-wrapped bones. She looked beautiful, even to her own critical eyes. She could feel her spine lengthening, her hips moving in a previously unknown languid sway.

Jake held his arm out to her as she reached the doorway.

“Madam,” he said, smirking, but she didn’t smile, just slipped her fingers across his sleeve and the smile fell off his face.

She had almost forgotten Veronica. It was a shock to feel her brush past, to take Jake’s other arm. The three of them stood uncomfortably close for a moment, wedged into the doorway.

“Lead us on then, kind sir,” said Veronica, in a kind of purr and Bella saw Jake’s face contract, a split-second wince of pain. She opened her mouth to ask him what was the matter and then his face was back to normal. He dragged his eyes from Veronica’s face and looked at Bella.

“Let’s go then, sexy.”

“Is that me or Bella you’re talking to?” said Veronica, still in the same furry voice and again, Bella saw that momentary contraction of Jake’s face. For a moment, absurdly, she thought he was going to lash out. She tightened her fingers on his arm, involuntarily. He and Veronica were looking at each other, their gaze locked together; Veronica’s chin up, the corners of her mouth tucked back in a little ironic smirk, Jake’s eyebrows drawn down, his face rigid. Bella felt a clutch in the pit of her stomach. She opened her mouth to say something, to break the tension, anything – and then Veronica was standing back, smiling properly, Jake was grinning, the tension lifted, dissolved, gone. Had it even been there in the first place? Bella blinked. She and Veronica had drunk champagne whilst they got ready and all of a sudden, she could really feel the two glasses she’d had. She gripped Jake’s arm, feeling the warmth beneath her fingers, the hardness of the bone beneath her fingertips.

“Come on,” said Veronica. “Downstairs. Let’s go.”

They made their way downstairs. Bella clung to the banisters, tipsily. The other two hurried before her, their hands clutching at the banisters.

“Wait for me, guys,” said Bella, giggling. She was placing one foot in front of the other, carefully. The corset gripped her about the chest, making her step carefully, breathe shallowly. Jake and Veronica had reached the hallway. The two of them stood by the front door, watching her come down the stairs. Bella fumbled another foot forwards, slid her palm down the slippery banister.

“Sorry,” she said. “I’m coming as fast as I can.”

The two of them were staring at her, watching her step down the stairs. Bella was drunk, but not that drunk. She could feel a slow awkwardness begin to surface. Did she look that pissed? She moved more slowly, placed her hands more carefully. The rigid edges of her shoes cut into the skin of her feet. Be careful. She reached the safety of the black and white tiles of the hallway and put a hand up to her hot cheek, smoothing back her hair.

“I’m okay,” she said brightly. Both Jake and Veronica were staring at her and for a moment, she had the horrible vertiginous feeling of making a dreadful faux pax. She touched her face, tried to run a finger subtly beneath her nostrils, passed her tongue over her teeth.

Eventually the silence, and their big-eyed stares became too much.

“Are you all right?”

“Of course they’re all right.”

Carl’s voice made them all jump. They turned to look at him, his hand on the doorframe, lounging in the entrance to the living room. Bella caught his eye and felt heat begin to surge up inside her. No, I’m not doing this, she told herself, the firmness of her inner monologue surprising her. I’m not embarrassed. What the hell have I got to be embarrassed about? She raised her chin and smiled at him, feeling reckless.

Carl looked at her for a moment, appraisingly. Then he grinned and held his hand out. Taking it, she had the feeling she’d passed some sort of test. What test, she thought giddily, as he led her through into the living room, past the sagging sofa and into the alcove by the window, where the table was laid for dinner. Wine glasses glittered. There were candles shedding soft golden circles of light on the tablecloth. Carl led her to a seat and managed to insert her into the chair without touching any more of her than her arm. As he took his hand from hers, Bella was very aware of the movement of air across her warm palm. She looked down at the placemat, confused. For a second, she was scarcely aware of Jake taking his place by her, or by Veronica seating herself opposite.