“Yeah. I’m okay. Promise.”

Both of my parents kiss me goodnight and leave my room. The door is partially open and I see the lights turn off. I lie back down on my side and look out the window towards Tyler’s house. The moonlight shines down and tears flow from my eyes. I miss him so much and need him here.

My body trembles through the night and I have to keep telling myself I’m okay. The nightmares are getting harsher. Usually, I see his face and hear him call me pretty girl. I want that night to be out of my memory. It’s consuming me when there’s no one around and I have to fight to come back. I grip the sheets and count to ten. I’m going to be okay.

The sound of my phone startles me. I pick it up, seeing a text message from Ryan.

Ryan: Still up?

Me: Trying to sleep

Ryan: Bullshit . . . I’m climbing through your window now so unlock it

Me: Why

Ryan: Just do it

Getting up, I unlock my window and throw on a light, zip up hoodie. Sitting back down on my bed, I wait for Ryan to come in. Feeling a little weird with him wanting to come in so late, I wonder what his deal is and why he wants to see me.

After a few minutes, I hear the window open and see him popping in.

“Hi?” I say, with uncertainty and doubt.

“Don’t be like that. I’m only here because your mom told my mom you’re having bad nightmares again, so I’m offering my cuddling services.”

“You’re what?”

“You heard me.” He walks over to the other side of the bed. Tyler’s side. And gets under the covers. “Can you turn off the light, please? I’m exhausted.”

“You are not staying overnight. Are you serious right now?”

“Stop fighting it, Bayleigh Renee. Turn off the lights. I need to sleep.”

Fuming, I look at the time and it’s already pretty late. I don’t want to make a scene and wake up my parents. Getting under the covers as well, I turn and look at him. “If you touch me, I’ll chop off your precious cock.” He smirks and places both hands behind his head.

“Night, sweetheart.”

“Night,” I mutter, reaching over and shutting off the lights. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out.

Waking up the next morning, with strong arms around me, and legs tangled with other legs, I jolt open my eyes and see Ryan’s sleeping face. I didn’t have a nightmare last night and I slept very well. I can’t believe having Ryan here is helping me and I can’t believe I’m feeling okay with him here. There’s an anxious feeling brewing inside me. I don’t know why he’s here and what his plans are. I’m nervous to find out.

I can forgive him for leaving and for that night. I don’t blame him, nor have I ever. The secrets he’s hiding won’t make me hate him either. I want to be there for him the way he is for me. Ryan is a cocky asshole, with a big heart and he means well. A lot of people misunderstand him and judge him before getting to know him. On so many levels, I feel connected to him and the anger I have towards him slowly goes away.

Then I think about Tyler. If he saw this, right now, he’d flip. Tyler’s never liked my friendship with Ryan. I never understood why, nor did I ask. I figured it was Tyler being overprotective and guarded because it’s me.

Maybe once he comes back, I can explain to him having Ryan in my life isn’t a bad thing. Sometimes strong friendships help pave the path to becoming a stronger person. When you have someone who is strong and willing to push you and keep pushing you, there’s a drive that builds inside. We both push each other and I want that again.

“God, stop thinking,” he moans and pulls me in closer.

“Let go,” I laugh and nudge myself away from him. “I have to get ready for work.”

“You can be late,” he tells me and it takes all my strength to get out of his death grip. “You know,” he opens his eyes, “I can get used to this whole waking up next to my best friend.”

I roll my eyes and grab my clothes for today, “I’m sure you can. Okay, now go bye bye.”

He blows me a kiss and winks at me before leaving my room.

I look at my phone. It’s been a week since Ryan’s convenient return and we haven’t talked. Taking the glass of whiskey, I down it and look at the message again before pressing send.

Me: We need to talk

Ryan: I guess we do

Me: Why are you back?

Ryan: Done traveling . . . Need to make things right with you and Bayleigh. Lots of shit happened to me when I was gone. Don’t want any regrets

I roll my eyes. My brother has always been the reckless and irresponsible one. He has a wild side and with me not there, I don’t know what he has planned for Bayleigh.

Me: I get it. Don’t involve Bay in your crazy shit

Ryan: Or maybe that’s what she needs

Me: WTF are you talking about

Ryan: She’s been protected and pampered her whole damn life. Can’t always save her

Me: When it comes to Bayleigh, I will always protect her. Don’t fuck up anything

Ryan: Wouldn’t dream of it, brother

Only ten more days here and then I’m back home. Nothing will happen. The lurking fear takes over. I’ve never trusted my brother and now here I am, thousands of miles away, and there’s nothing I can do.

I let out a frustrated sigh and reread the reports again. My eyes are blurry and I need to head home to sleep off this stress.

“Hey,” I look up and see Serena walking into my office with take out in her hands. “Thought you’d like this.”

“Thanks,” I mutter and go back to work. “Sorry, I need to get these done.”

“I know,” she says, handing me food and water. I look at her with a smile and dig in. “You’ve been moody. Everything okay?”

“My twin brother’s back in town,” I reply, and take a few bites of the rice and chicken. “And Brian’s working me pretty hard.”

“Why are you stressed out about your brother?”

“Because he’s never up to anything good. Bayleigh always sees the good in him and never listens when I tell her to be careful.” I stand up and look out my office window. I know Ryan and I know his feelings for her. “He loves her too,” I quietly tell her.

“But she picked you.”

“I know.”

I can lie to myself and say Bayleigh doesn’t have feelings for Ryan. The problem with that is, I know she does. She’s always loved me and put me above everyone else. I know we’ll be together again. She and Ryan have a special connection I’ve never understood. She gets him and he lets her in. When they’re together there are no games or manipulation like he’s used to doing. When he left town, I was relieved. As much as I hate him, he’s still my brother and that’ll never change.

I’m not stupid enough to think he’s a better person. Having Ryan back is an eye opener. When it comes to Bayleigh, I’m not tough or smart. I do dumb shit and push her. This time I have to rethink what I do and say to her.

I can’t lose her.

We finish work a little later than usual. Heading to my hotel room I do my best to get rest. Changing out of my suit and into sweat pants I slide under the covers, feeling the cool sheets against my skin, grabbing a pillow and hugging it against my bare chest. I look at the clock staring at back at me. The red numbers don’t move. I stare until the minute changes. After five minutes my eyes get heavy. When I close my eyes I see her and feel her hands on my face. I feel the weight of her body against mine. My heart slows and every muscle in my body relaxes. Missing her as much as I do scares me.

Fighting the thoughts in my head I roll over on my side and wake up. A few hours pass and I know I won’t be getting any more sleep right now. Throwing on shorts and a shirt I put on my sneakers and make my way to the gym in the hotel and get on the treadmill. Putting in my earbuds and setting the speed to seven, I flush out the outside noise, focus on myself and my music. My feet beat against the treadmill in a constant rhythm. It’s only me in the gym, just the way I want it to be.