Once we are alone, Todd runs his hands over my damp hair, his eyes saying everything I’m feeling. When he leans down to kiss me, his lips have never felt so perfect against mine. Not being able to have him makes me want him more.

“How was practice?” he asks through his kisses. He doesn’t say his name, but I know what he’s really asking.

“So far so good. He has no idea about us. He did ask why my mom picked me up, so I think he’s curious.”

“Good. He needs to think we’re still together. I don’t trust him if he knows we’re broken up.”

His lips float down my neck, and in the heat of the moment, I walk us over to my bed.

“I hate this,” I say as I guide him to lie down. There is so much energy flowing between us I can’t think clearly. “I just want to be with you.”

“I know. Me, too. But we need to be smart.” He positions his body on top of mine, bracing his arms on either side of me as he slowly lowers his body to meet mine while his lips brush across my lips.

“Hopefully it’s not much longer,” I say. Every part of me wants him, now.

I run my hands down his back and start to pull up his shirt.

He shakes his head and pushes himself back up. “I should go.”

I pull him back down. “No. Not yet. Please stay.”

“Ashley, if we get caught, we’re dead.” He presses one last kiss against my lips, full of urgency. I feel everything he is feeling through this kiss. It scares me, because it’s like we will never get to do it again.

Suddenly, there is a loud banging on my wall, and I know Ryan is warning us.

“Ashley?” we hear my mom’s voice. I can tell she’s close, just down the hall, already upstairs.

“Go,” I say and press my lips back into his as I push him toward the window.

“Hey, Mom. How was your day?” we hear Ryan ask loudly through the vent.

Todd stops. “Wait, you can hear him? Did you hear us?”

“Yes. And I want to know who Ryan told, but right now, you’ve gotta go.” I practically push him out the window.

“Okay. I love you. Remember that,” he says as he finds the tree branch. He turns back around and gives me one last kiss before he pulls himself fully across my windowsill.

“Love you, too.” I watch him to make sure he has steady footing on the tree then quickly close my curtains just as I hear my door opening.

“Ryan is in a talkative mood today,” my mom says with a questioning smile.

TODD

It takes me a good twenty minutes to calm down enough to walk into my house. My heart is racing. It was so hard to leave Ashley, to walk away from her. I hate pretending we’re not together.

“There you are,” my mom says as soon as I open the front door. “We were getting worried about you.” She looks back at Sid. “Your sister was looking for you at school.”

I throw Sid a questioning look, and she just smiles. I’m about to lose it on them both. She knows where to find me if she needs me. I don’t really need to get into any more trouble.

My mom starts back in. “So I’ve decided I’m giving you back your phone. It’s important for—”

“Wait, what?”

“Your phone,” Sid says with a wink from behind Mom. “You’re getting it back.”

I love my sister. I have no idea what she said to my mom, and I really don’t care.

Mom is still going on and on. I have no idea what she’s saying, and once again, I don’t care.

I mouth, “Thank you,” to Sid.

Getting my phone back changes everything.

ASHLEY

Like a moron, I’m lying on my bed, enjoying the smell of Todd before it disappears. I know we need to be more careful, but I wish he could sneak into my room every night. If only he was a vampire …

I hear my phone buzz, and my immediate reaction is disappointment, because I know it’s not Todd. I slowly reach my hand out to my nightstand, in no mood or hurry to deal with anyone or anything until I see the name staring back at me.

Guess what?

I think my heart might have actually stopped. It is Todd! He has his phone back!

How? I text back.

Sid.

God, I love her!

Me, too, at the moment, but we still need to be careful, just in case.

He doesn’t have to say anything else. I know he means just in case our parents check our phones. It’s better not to have anything in text form.

We need a code for things. I have to study = I love you.

I have to study.

Me, too. Now delete this chain.

I’d like to study all night long.

Funny. Me, too. Now, seriously, delete this chain!

Chapter 12: Playing Along

ASHLEY

I can’t exactly say this week flew by. It probably has been one of the toughest weeks of my life. I thought it was hard when we actually broke up, but pretending to break up and not being able to be with him is way more difficult.

Aside from our lunch breaks and coded texts, we have had very little alone time together. Only Ryan and our close friends know the truth; everyone else thinks we are actually broken up, including RTS, which has been extremely difficult, because she is not shy about being all over Todd. She didn’t hold back when we were together, so you can imagine how much worse she is now.

Luckily, no one on the swim team knows anything. Since I don’t go to school with any of them, it’s made it much easier to keep everything a secret.

But right now, I can’t think about this week or Todd, or at least, I need to stop thinking about all of it.

I’m in line behind Janice in the coed relay. She’s on the block, about to dive into the water, and I’m next. Casey is standing behind me. He’s in the swim zone, so I know he’s only concentrating on the race, exactly like I should be. We are in the same formation as the summer. He’s last in order to finish us strong. I just need to keep the race close, and I know he can win it.

I step up onto the block, noticing Janice is in second, and third is trailing her pretty closely. I’m going to need to pick up the pace a bit.

As soon as she tags the wall, I slice through the water, my adrenaline on overdrive. This is what I need—to always be racing so I can live in this high. In the water, it’s just me. No parents, no Casey, no break up; it’s just the water rushing over my body.

I push myself as hard as I can. This is the fastest I have ever swum, and I only want to go faster. I keep pushing myself harder, and before I know it, I’m tagging the wall, and Casey is flying through the air.

“You got us into first!” Janice squeals as I pull myself out of the pool.

“Really?” I ask as she throws her arms around me.

I turn back to the race; Casey is so far ahead of the rest of the swimmers it’s almost sad.

“I think you beat your fastest time.” Janice beams, she’s more excited than I am.

I smile to myself. Well, at least our break up was good for something.

As soon as Casey tags the wall, we have officially slaughtered all the other teams.

George shouts as he runs over to us with his arms flailing. “Boom! We beat our overall team time, and Ashley, you got a personal best.” He looks like a little kid; he’s so giddy. Who knew George could even get this excited?

“Congrats, Ash.” Before I know it, Casey’s arms are wrapped around me.

“You, too,” I say as I half-heartily return his embrace.

“That was some race, kids,” my mom and dad say to the team as most of the parents approach.

“Thanks!” I say, hugging my dad back.

Ryan and the boys have an away game that started pretty early, so both of my parents got to come to my meet. Of course, Casey is parentless at this event, and my heart sinks for him until I spot the blonde from the party, Viv, and a few other girls in the stands. Actually, it seems he has his own cheering section, so never mind. Thankfully, they are staying put on the bleachers for now.