30

DO FIND HER EROGENOUS ZONES

Ears are often an ignored or underutilized erogenous zone. Both the lobe and the area behind the ear are hotwired to the nerves and can be stimulated with a tongue, a light probing finger, or heavy breathing. Some people can orgasm just from ear stimulation, so don’t ignore that body part. I sometimes refer to this feeling as an EARGASM.

Nibbled with the teeth, titillated with the tongue, the earlobe is a sensitivity center second to none and can be utilized in foreplay with far-reaching results. It is also more readily available in the winter when other, more obvious areas, are concealed beneath layers of thermal clothing.

It’s the same with the neck. Below the ears, in back where the hairline meets the neck . . . these are all erogenous zones. After all, where do you think the term “necking” originated?

Human hands have more than 72,000 nerve endings and having someone suck on your fingers as part of the warm-up can be titillating, if part of the exploration process and not a solo act. I once received a letter from a German reader who shared a glove fetish with his fiancée. This couple both wore leather gloves of different types while making love, but they had become so obsessed that they got to the stage of keeping the gloves on most of the time. In their own words, it was like a “superior, second skin.”

Unfortunately, the woman had developed a rash as a result, and they asked my advice. Obviously, I told them to leave the gloves off when they were not making love, but I also suggested that they experiment with some “way-out,” “kinky” sex, i.e., making love naked. As they were excited by the texture of the leather, I advised them to experiment with oils and creams on their skin (starting off with an ointment to cure the rash). Others wrote me about their ”hand fetishes,” but I do not classify the human hand as fetish material, simply because the hand is a sexual organ, and as such is used more than all the other sexual organs put together. From the grope on the behind or the grab at the tits, to the delicate caresses, the fingers touching the lips or running through the hair, to the final titillation of nipple or clit, sensation is both given and received through the fingertips.

Hands are sadly neglected as an erotic symbol, particularly in America, where people seem to be more into face-lifts and breast jobs. One can often recognize the true age of a person (male or female) by taking a quick look at their hands, because no matter how well their faces, tits, or peckers have been tightened up, the hand is an area the plastic surgeons have not yet conquered.

The use of nail polish and lipstick go back at least as far as ancient Egypt. Nefertiti appeared to have been a specialist in fondling her lovers’ genitals with varnish on her nails, or placing her succulent painted lips around their cocks. The makeup industry isn’t making a fortune for nothing out of the sale of perfumes, nail polish, eye makeup, and, last but not least, lipstick. These are the sexual accessories that women smear, spray, or pour over themselves to make them more appealing and attractive to men.

One day, while a group of friends and I were having dinner, we asked one another what appealed to us most about our lovers. One guy said, “I like her dewy bedroom eyes”; someone else was fascinated by his girlfriend’s big bottom and matching tits. My own lover told me that what fascinated him about me was my touch, in fact, the way I could excite him almost without touching him. Fortunately, I happen to be blessed with pretty hands—long, slender fingers and tiny wrists, which I suppose I had the good luck to inherit from my mother.

There is nothing unusual in adoring the beauty of a woman’s hands, whether she is fondling your cock, loading the dishwasher, or even knitting. Unfortunately, many men do not consider it important to look after their hands. We hear a lot about the delicate, sensitive fingers of a surgeon or a pianist, but never about the square, capable hands of a carpenter or a mechanic. Strangely enough, it is usually men with those competent hands who make the best lovers.

Because of its proximity to the genitals, a woman’s navel is like a secondary vulva to some men. In the past, women fiercely concealed their navels; now they display them in perfect freedom on beaches and in other public places, in spite of or because of their erotic effect on men.

Stimulating the navel with your tongue, or rubbing body lotion or suntan oil in and around it, can be very sexually arousing to both men and women. Women that have to undergo a heavy stomach operation or receive a cesarean often beg their surgeons to make sure they leave a so-called bikini scar, which is a line that borders on their pubic hair and leaves the rest of their belly untouched and the navel as appealing as ever. Belly dancers often insert a ruby or other precious stone in their navels, and some tribes in India do so as well.

The navel, as well as the crack of the buttocks, is a great turn-on to many men, and, in some instances, an inventive lover has poured drops of champagne in either of these love creases and then devoured the liquid. Tickling a navel with your tongue, slightly scratching around it or teasing it with a feather or a flower or a piece of grass may arouse hidden ardor in your lover.

A little research shows that there is a definite take-it-or-leave-it attitude about this delectable decoration. And when it comes to photo shoots of beautiful women, the navel is rarely featured as a sexual attribute. This is very odd, considering that this beautiful belly embellishment was once so necessary to the erotic paintings of yore.

The incidence of the navel as an erogenous zone seems to vary a great deal, but this also applies to other parts of the body, particularly the male nipple. Very few men are excited by attention to their teats, and, surprisingly, only about fifty percent of women are driven wild by attention to their breasts. In my opinion, however, the sensitivity of erogenous zones can be developed through TLC to the extent that one famous lady is reported as saying, “It doesn’t matter where you touch me; my whole body is an erogenous zone.”

31

DO DISCOVER HER SACRED PLEASURE PORTAL

Contrary to popular myth, a woman’s clit is not a magic pleasure button. Just as every woman is different, the size and appearance of each woman’s clitoris varies. What’s more, most of it is inside and not readily visible. It is sensitive and for many women, unless you touch it very gently, touching causes pain; so boys, don’t assume that it’s a genie’s lamp and that, if you rub it hard enough or long enough, you’ll get an orgasm. Touching it the right way, for that particular woman, is what is required. I highly recommend that you ask her to let you watch her do it first, especially if you are new to it.

According to the dictionary, the clitoris is “a part of the female genitalia consisting of a small, elongated, highly sensitive erectile organ at the front of the vulva, homologous with the penis.” The word actually comes from the Greek word meaning “to close,” although another Greek anatomist says it was named for the Greek word for “key” (as in key to pleasure), proving only that, right from the start, we had men classifying something they knew nothing about.

The entrance to a woman’s vagina is covered by two pairs of vertical lips, and the inner lips (the labia minora), join at the top in shape of a wigwam, without the sticks. This is the female equivalent of the head of a man’s penis and though it is a lot smaller, it has more nerve endings.

In its normal relaxed state, it can be supersensitive, almost painful to the touch, or totally unresponsive. Not only do all women react differently to having their clitoris touched, but the same woman will act differently at different times. Most women require a longer warming up period than men do and in my case, I need kisses and caresses before I’m ready to let a man finger my clit. Sometimes after a period of subtle sucking, my clit cries out for more rigorous attention. Those of you who are new to clit play, proceed with caution and pay attention to your lover’s responses. Learn from them.