I sit on the flowered couch and bring her down to my lap. She finally releases all her tears and grief into my shirt. Rubbing her arms and telling her she’ll get through this, I patiently wait for her to calm down. Anger starts to boil in my blood that things should be different. I should have fought harder when she pushed me away. With all her attempts to appear as though she’s fine and holding it all together, she’s not. How could she? How could anyone?

Forty-eight hours ago she made the decision to cut me out of her life. I sit on my bed stunned as she ends it with me. She grabs my heart, yanks it from my chest and tosses it out the fucking window. Her words are kinder at first. “You deserve a life...a life I can’t give you...this is an instant family, Trey. You’re only twenty-three.”

Then I hammer back arguments like, “You’re my life...I only need you...I love all of you...please, don’t push me away.” Our voice rise as she pushes and I pull back and forth until she hammers the final nail. “I don’t love you, Trey.” My mouth drops for the pure fact the words could leave her mouth.

“Don’t say that,” I instruct her, grabbing her by her upper arms.

“I mean it, Trey. I was just using you.” Her desperate plea to break me. She pushes my hands off her arms, and they drop to my sides. She escapes from the room, her frantic footsteps running down the stairs. The twist of the doorknob and slam of the door announcing her departure jolts me to run after her. My feet can’t go fast enough, even slipping down the last few steps. Her car is pulling out by the time I open the door, and I sprint, pounding on her window not to do this. She places her car in drive once she gets to the street, and stares at me. Her tear filled eyes look ready to burst, I think she’s relenting. She rolls her window down, and I’m positive this is it. She’ll park back in the driveway, we will drive over to the house, relieve Caden’s parents from watching the kids, and snuggle up in bed and comfort each other. I’ll help her prepare the funeral arrangements, pick out what Caden will wear and stuff like that. “It’s over, Trey,” she tells me and speeds off before I can say anything.

I stand there in the middle of the street watching her taillights disappear like some fucking movie. There’s no way she meant it, right? We’re more than this. My throat contracts with the thought of never touching her again; never a brush of our fingertips, never a taste of her luscious lips. Just like that I’m back to being seventeen, signing the papers and handing my daughter over. The guilt and pain are too unbearable, the urge to forget, to numb this pain too great to deny. I begin to walk back to the house when movement from the corner of my eye draws my attention.

“Hey, Trey,” Bridgette flirtatiously says, twirling her long hair around her finger. She’s dressed in a white tank top and tight blue boy short panties. Why hadn’t I stayed on that path, the easy one? There are no bumps, twists, or sudden curves, just a straight and flat easily accessible road with on and off ramps. “I’ve got your favorite bottle,” she informs me.

Flat and easy sounds good right about now.

Kailey rises quickly to her feet and walks to the door. She cannot leave this room. I need to prove my love to her. Fight the case she didn’t let me two nights ago. Show her how fucking good we are together. Her right hand has a tight grasp on the lock, and desperation tears into me. Grabbing her and caging her between my arms, I plant my lips on hers. The immediate desires pools between us, and I slide my tongue through her parted lips. When her body relaxes and sways into mine, I know I have her and she knows it too. She feebly attempts to push me away, even though her mouth and tongue continues to mingle with mine. I use my strength over her as my advantage, pressing my body against hers.

Then she places both her hands and with all her force, pushes me away. Anger boils in my veins that it’s not enough. I can’t get her to understand how wrong all this is. How ridiculous and selfish she’s being.

“We can’t, Trey, just leave,” she spouts with eyes glued to mine.

“No, it’s bullshit, Kailey, and you know it.”

“Why won’t you just let it go?”

“Because you love me. Don’t deny it, Kailey. Stop cheating what we have.” She briefly wavers, and I take my last opportunity to pull her into me. Her body contours with mine. Her head just under my chin, so I can kiss her apple scented hair. My arms stretch around her, my one hand firm against her neck with my fingers laced through her hair. She relents, reaching her arms around my back and just like that, we’re back. The warmth of our bodies merge together into one solid form.

“Please, Trey, go,” she begs in a soft whispery voice, barely audible. There’s no wish I wouldn’t grant Kailey. Nothing I would deny her—except for that.

She bolts out of my arms and out of the room within seconds. Chasing after her, the crowd of people in the waiting area has increased. My eyes find the little brunette within the crowd. She stops at Kailey, and then her face beams and her little feet sprint my way. “TREY!” she screeches and heads my way. I scoop her up and my throat constricts when her small hands cup my face.

She tells me about Jen, and I remind her what we talked about. I know she’ll never remember this day, but a pain will fill her in the future that doesn’t today when she’s old enough to realize that her parents died much too young and were unable to watch her grow. Keeping her in my arms, we walk into the room. Hushed whispers of family or friends discussing the situation, pointing Kailey out as the Aunt and now guardian fill the room. The one older lady’s voice rings in my ear, “That’s the boyfriend. Like he’ll stick around. Just look at him.” I want to go up to her and ring her a new one and tell her where the hell to go. How dare the old hag question my dedication and love for not only Kailey but the kids. But starting a fight in the middle of a wake might not be the best way to plead my case.

Rallying up the crew, I lead them into the back of the room. A couch and a few chairs fill the space, but it’s more segregated and removed from the people. Kailey’s eyes glance our way occasionally. Not sure if she’s just watching the kids or myself, probably both. The gang walks back and Brady grabs Drew out of my lap.

“This little man loves me.” He starts tossing him in the air, and Drew laughs incessantly the whole time.

“Brady, you’re going to make him throw up,” Sadie says, shaking her head in disapproval.

“No you won’t, will you, little man,” Brady speaks solely to Drew, and he giggles again.

Jessa pulls out some coloring books and crayons from her bag and hands them out to Chloe and Tara. Oh, my friends, I love them. They’ve done so much to help us. I know Sadie and Jessa took turns spending the night with Kailey the past two nights. I would have thought one of them could have convinced her she’s being bullheaded and needs to let me decide the fate of my life.

Dex is the last to make his way to the back of the room. Shaking his head, I already know what he’s going to say. “I tried, man. She won’t listen to me.” He clasps my shoulders and before I notice all the guys are in a circle with me.

“I don’t know what to do. I got her alone, but she’s still convinced she knows best.”

“What’s your plan?” Grant chimes into the conversation.

I entwine my hands on the back of my neck in exasperation of her. Kailey, a girl who’s had me chasing her from the first day I stared into the emerald depths of her eyes. “I don’t know what else I can do,” I admit I’m coming close to defeat.

“We’ll think of something. How about a weekend alone, just you two?” Brady adds.

“No, it has to be the whole family,” I tell him, especially now. There’s no way I’m taking her away from the kids. Then across the room, I spot my in. A man I’m sure can flip this around back in my favor. “Thanks, guys, but I think I got it.”