Rizzo. Well, I okay, I do, but mostly I don’t have the energy to. It’s shattering to know with absolute

clarity that things will never be the same again. How can we be friends now? I’ve destroyed everything.

You don’t sleep with your best friend’s love interest. You just don’t. Ever.

It hurts too much to think about it, and so I do what I always do when the pain comes. I morph into

good old James, the Invisible. Hollow, numb, and blissfully blank of emotion. It’s a simple technique of

curling up in that place inside where they can’t reach you. There was a time when being able to do that

was a life-saver.

I’ve almost reached my door when Anna storms out of her room and nearly runs into me. Damn.

With a bit of luck she might even have knocked me out.

“Shit, Foley! What the hell you doing up here?” she barks. Anna always barks, she doesn’t just talk

like normal people. But then again, you can hardly call a militant feminist with a pink-dyed Mohican

and three lip-piercings normal.

“I live here,” I answer dryly and am about to walk on when she grabs me by the arm and firmly

holds me back.

“No, you don’t. Get your sad ass down to the party. It’s like the one night of the year when even a

hopeless case like you is allowed to have fun!”

“Thanks, but I’d rather not.”

“Right then, let’s go!” she decides.

“Anna!” I hiss sharply as she begins to drag me back up the corridor. “I’m not going anywhere.”

To my surprise she really stops, and glares at me. That’s when I notice a deep hurt in her eyes that

can’t possibly come from my reaction. Has she been crying?

“What the hell’s your problem? You can brood and mope down there just fine if you absolutely have

to!” she snaps.

“It just so happens that I’d rather mope alone.”

“Julie dumped me,” she blurts out with no prior warning. “Bitch dumped me for Jenny. Jenny! Can

you believe that?”

I have no idea who Jenny is, and to be honest, I couldn’t care less. And still, something inside of me

spontaneously sympathizes with her hurt. Great. Am I growing soft in my old age?

“But you know what?” Anna continues with almost scary determination, “I don’t care. Whatever. I

mean, if she doesn’t want me, it’s her loss. And you know what I’m gonna do tonight?”

I just hope she isn’t planning to switch sides and explore uncharted sexual territories or anything, not

as long as she’s this close to me anyway.

“Get completely pissed,” she smiles wryly. “And you’re gonna keep me company.” Ignoring my

unwilling little snarl, Anna puts her iron arm around my waist and gives me an encouraging squeeze.

“Come on, Foley, you look like that’s just what you need yourself tonight.”

Not sure why, but between excessive amounts of alcohol and being alone with myself, somehow the

first sounds like the more healthy option. With a deep sigh I finally give in and let myself be dragged

away.

***

I have no idea where Anna got the booze, but I swear I can literally feel my brain cells getting fried one

by one while I take large gulps of it. Gah, it still tastes awful as hell now that we’ve emptied three

quarters of the bottle. Anna watches me wince with a small, amused grin.

“You know, I never got why he likes you, but even you have your cute moments.”

“Wuh? Anna, I’m trying to kill myself here with something that could be motor-oil from the taste of

it. Don’t make me think. Who’re you talking about?”

Completely unmotivated she breaks into a giggle and rolls around on the soft, lush lawn that we’re

lying on - lawn you’re not supposed to walk across- a bit apart from the crowd. Yep, she’s definitely

getting where I want to be. I don’t really expect an answer anymore when she lifts her head and groans:

“Casey, of course, you dickhead.” She giggles again.

“Dickhead?” I start to laugh too, in spite of myself. “Shut up, you SCUM-reading dyke. What do

you know anyway? Casey hates me.”

“Yeah, right.” Anna’s head lands on my shoulder and bangs against my cheek, and we both moan

pitifully. “You should hear him talk about you. James this, James that, James everything!”

“Ha. You’re lying. He doesn’t do that.”

“Does too. And you’re an idiot.”

We’re both silent for a moment. I stare up to the night sky above, trying to get my brain to process

what she said. The party lights are too bright to see the stars tonight. Maybe it’s overcast anyway. I

thought I heard a roll of thunder rumbling in the distance earlier. The air is so thick you could cut it.

“And even if he did talk about me so much - which he doesn’t,” I glare at her. “That doesn’t prove a

thing.”

“You’re both idiots,” is her meaningful reply.

“So what’s he say about me?”

“Who?”

“Casey,” I snarl impatiently.

“It’s not what he’s saying, stupid, it’s the way he’s saying it. Foley, how blind can you be?” Anna

shakes her head, banging it against my chin again in the process and not giving a damn.

“Oww,” I protest.

“I don’t get you. It’s like you actually enjoy being miserable!”

“Apparently,” I say quietly, more to myself, and the tragic part about it is that I know she’s probably

right.

“He hates me now, anyway.”

“What did you do?”

“Something unforgivable,” I mumble.

“Nothing’s unforgivable, stupid.”

“Would you forgive… what’s her face?”

“Julie? Never ever. Ever!” she replies darkly, and far too loudly. “That bitch can rot in hell!”

“Why, thanks. You fill me with hope.”

Abruptly I sit up, ignoring Anna protesting loudly and slapping my arm. I thought I’d just spotted

Casey at the edge of the crowd, not far from us. I was right. And he’s not alone. Rizzo’s with him. A

sudden wave of hatred with the rage of a thousand hellfires grips me. I don’t want to see this. I don’t

want to feel. I get a dark foreboding, making the palms of my hands sweat. They’re talking. Standing

close to each other. Very close. Sharing a beer, apparently. The intimacy is sickening. Something inside

my stomach starts to spin, and in my current state, that is a very bad thing. I don’t get this! He can hang

out with Rizzo, but not with me? Why isn’t he mad with him too? That’s completely not fair in my

book.

“Anna, gimme the bottle.” I hold out my open hand and she slaps the bottle into it with a low grunt

as she struggles to sit up beside me.

“What is it?” She follows my stare and glances at me when she’s noticed Casey and Rizzo. “Uh-oh.”

I put the booze to my mouth and just let it flow into me, but killjoy-Anna snatches it from my hand,

spilling half of it on my clothes.

“Woah! Easy, big boy. I don’t want you to hurl all over me!”

“Piss off.”

Great, now they’ve seen us. Both Casey and Rizzo stare over to us for a long moment. I wish I knew

what they’re thinking right now. On second thought, no, I’d rather not. I can imagine what a remarkably

pathetic picture the two of us fighting over a bottle of cheap booze must be. Rizzo frowns slightly, and

makes a motion that looks like he’s gonna come over, but then he decides not to. Instead, he flashes one

of his killer smiles at Casey. And Casey returns the smile. He turns away from me like I’m some sort of

lower being not even worth despising. But I can’t stop staring at them. I know that Casey is fully aware

of me watching as he puts his hand on Rizzo’s hip and leans in to whisper something in his ear. They

smile at each other, and Rizzo lifts his hand to cup Casey’s face. And then they kiss.

I’m on my feet and over there so fast neither of them sees it coming, but at the same time everything

seems to happen in slow motion. Sharp pain shoots through my fist as it connects with Rizzo’s face, and