he stumbles backwards, loses balance, hits the ground. I kick him in the guts, kick hard, and he howls in

agony. It sounds like a symphony to my ears. “You keep your hands off him, you son of a bitch!”

Someone violently grabs me by the arms and pulls me back. “Are you crazy? Get off him!” Casey’s

voice sounds strangely distorted, like from far away through my haze. He pushes me out of Rizzo’s

reach, stares at me in complete shock. “James! What do you think you’re doing?”

With my heart beating madly from the adrenaline rush, I stare back for a long, sobering moment,

unaware of the sensation-hungry crowd around us watching. My gaze drops to Rizzo on the ground,

who’s got his hands pressed to his abdomen, blood dripping from his lower lip. Still he doesn’t seem to

be aware of it, he doesn’t seem to feel any pain at all as the tiniest trace of a smile curls his lips in some

kind of twisted satisfaction. There are no words to describe how much I hate him right now.

Without taking his eyes off me, Casey walks over to Rizzo and helps him back to his feet. What he is

feeling, thinking, I can’t tell. All I know is that I’ve never seen him this upset.

“Come on, let’s go,” he addresses Rizzo softly, but he’s still looking at me as he says it.

I can’t avert my eyes as Casey takes Rizzo’s hand and they turn around, disappear in the crowd,

headed for somewhere that isn’t really hard to guess. But I would know where, wouldn’t I? I chuckle at

the irony, but it turns into something sounding more like a suppressed sob. A small, painful, surreal

noise. I don’t think I can move. Ever again. I just want to die right now, on the spot. A lightning strike

might make for a good exit, but of course I’m not that lucky.

I’m suddenly aware of Anna standing beside me, but don’t notice that I’m trembling before she puts

an arm around me.

“Hey,” she says softer than I ever thought her capable of. “You know, sometimes people do stupid,

irrational things when they’re hurt. Things they don’t really mean.”

I nod, but don’t really listen to the words. Something wet hits me on the cheek. Then again on my

arm. My hand. My hair. It’s starting to rain. Within seconds, the raindrops come down fast and heavy,

and the crowd scatters screaming in front of us, seeking shelter. I don’t move. Neither does Anna. She

looks up and welcomes the rain pouring down on her face like a cold, refreshing shower. We both stand

still until we’re completely soaked. It’s cold, my clothes sticking to my body, but I can’t bring myself to

care. Finally Anna stirs beside me.

“Come on, Foley, let’s get you inside before you catch your death and they sue me,” she grins wryly

and starts to lead me back to the dorm. I follow like a zombie, feeling dead inside.

Chapter 13

Making Sense

CASEY: I wake up in my own bed, and the first thing I do today is let out a deep sigh. I’m not sure if

it’s a sigh of relief, or one of the other, sadder kinds. Maybe it’s a mixture of both. I sigh again, for good

measure. When did everything get so complicated, and why does nothing make sense anymore?

It’s a beautiful day. The air is clean, fresh and alive. I inhale deeply as I stare out the half-open

window. Lush, green meadows glistening with a million tiny drops of water in mild morning light, like

an ocean of pearls. We had one hell of a thunderstorm last night. In many ways, I guess. The image of

James hitting Danny comes to mind, and I try to shut it out. But I can’t forget the look on his face.

“What did you do?” I whispered, breaking the kiss as Danny and I stepped into his room.

“What?”

“To James. What did you do to James?”

He looked at me with an amused little smile, and pressed me against the door. That smile did things

to me I don’t even have words for. Then he kissed me again, and I couldn’t help moaning softly. Felt so

good. Felt so incredible. His tongue in my mouth, pure magic, sensual, slow. And my brain kept saying:

God, this is Rizzo. This is Danny Rizzo you’re kissing. In his room. But my brain hadn’t shut down

enough for me to forget what I wanted to know.

“Answer my question?”

“What makes you think I did something to him?” His grin broadened, his breath softly ghosting over

my face. He’s so beautiful, flawless, and doesn’t he know it. There was a sparkle in his eyes that made

me catch my breath. I think I was trembling slightly, not in the least bit prepared for what was

happening here. He kissed me again. Then his hand slid into my pants, and I let out a gasp.

“Oh god.” My fingers seemed to claw into his back on their own account. I had dreamed of this, I

had been dying for this, but this was incomparably better. The pleasure shot through my body like a

fever. I had never been touched like this before. And for him to be the one… I closed my eyes and

desperately leaned into his touch. He knew exactly what to do to make the pleasure unbearably

intense… Christ. I was turned on like never before in my life. Wide-eyed, only half able to believe what

was happening between us. I was panting softly, every inch of my body dying for the sensation. And

then he just pulled his hand away. I stared at him in surprise, only to find him laughing softly.

“Beg,” he said with that incredible voice.

“Danny…”

“Beg,” he repeated. “Beg for it.”

“Please…”

“Please what?”

I tried to kiss him, but he moved his head away, watching my reaction. I let out a frustrated moan.

“Please.”

“Say it. I want to hear it.”

I tugged him close by his T-shirt and whispered the words into his ear, words I had never thought I

would say to anyone. I felt dirty saying them, and it felt right. “Sleep with me. Please sleep with me,

Danny.”

He stared into my eyes, and for one moment I thought he was about to kiss me again. But he

hesitated. His dark eyes were fathomless. Then he stepped away. Still panting, I stared at him

unbelievingly. “What are you doing?”

He nonchalantly lit a cigarette, as though nothing had just happened between us. Nothing at all.

“Well, what does it look like?”

“But… I don’t understand,” I said quietly.

“I bet you don’t, Millsie.”

It was hard to calm down again. My pulse was still racing, my body dying for his touch. “What’s

going on?” I took a step closer. “I thought… you wanted it too.” My voice sounded small.

He snorted. “You’re breaking my heart.”

“What’s the matter with you? You find this amusing?”

“Actually, yeah, I do.” He laughed and looked at me with those beautiful eyes. Beautiful and, right

now, so very cold. There he was once more, Danny Rizzo, all cool and aloof, out of reach. I had no idea

what was going through his mind. He was impossible to read.

“Why did you bring me here if not to…”

“…screw you?” Rizzo finished my sentence, and there was a dangerous undertone in his voice.

“‘Cause that’s what I’m all about? That’s what you think.”

“No. God, no, it isn’t.”

“Then what am I all about, tell me.”

I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. I mean, you barely gave me a chance to get to know you so

far.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I would like to paint you,” I blurted out, and had no idea why I said that. God, I felt stupid. For

reasons unknown, he wasn’t flattered. No, instead he was looking rather annoyed with me.

“How can you be such a wuss, Mills? I mean, if you were at least a bit of competition. But this?” He

gestured at me. “Geez.”

My head was spinning. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, but that wasn’t very nice.”

He laughed, but there was something in his eyes, like some kind of hurt shimmering through from