for me to do exactly that, to follow in his footsteps. And that’s exactly what’s holding me back. I’ve

always been so conflicted when it comes to music. I had my first piano lesson before I could walk. All

through my school years, I tried out various instruments, and I’ve always been best at the piano and the

sax. Just like Grazzo. Only I’m better on the piano, and he on the saxophone. But damn it, I don’t want

to be a clone of my dad. Who does? I never wanted to be “the son of”. All my life I’ve fought to be my

own person. Here at Woodhaven it was pretty easy. Out in the world, not so much. Because believe it or

not, sometimes I do get recognized as his son in the streets. Everyone says I look just like him when he

was young. Most would take that as a compliment. It isn’t for me. Sometimes I wonder if Lilah has

rubbed off on me, but I have my own reasons for not wanting to be associated with Grazzo all the time.

If I went into music - not a chance.

Anyway, no matter what I do after graduation, what it all boils down to is that it looks like I’ve been

nicely wasting opportunities at Woodhaven. It’s hard to believe my time here is drawing to an end so

quickly now. Only a little over two months left. It’s insane. I wanna stay, and at the same time I can’t

wait to get out of here. Andrea and I have had this plan of traveling Europe after graduation for ages.

We haven’t talked about it in a long time, but if she’s still up for it, I’m game.

It’s past nine pm when I enter my dorm after rehearsal. The corridor leading to my room is pitch black

because the light bulb went to light bulb heaven earlier, so I don’t even notice that there’s someone

sitting beside my door until I almost step on them.

“Damn!” I curse as someone jumps up right in front of me.

“Oh god, sorry,” a familiar voice replies worriedly. “I didn’t mean to startle you. But the light isn’t

working.”

“No shit, Mills.” What the hell is he doing here? Trying to give me a heart attack? I’ve been ignoring

him since before Christmas, and I thought he got the message, so what is this now? Come to think of it,

I’ve seen him come towards me numerous times for a while now. Never gave him a chance to get close

enough to get on my nerves.

I manage to unlock the door without too much fumbling around, and turn on the light inside, letting

it fall into the corridor where we’re standing. “Were you planning on camping out on my doorstep, or

what?”

“Oh, I…”

“You got ten seconds, Mills. Spill.”

“I need to talk to you. It’s really important. I swear.”

I’m bored already. I glance at my watch. “Six seconds left.”

“Rizzo - oh, screw this.” I’m taken by surprise when Casey Dearest has the nerve to actually push

past me into my room. He sits down on the edge of my bed and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“I’m not leaving before you hear me out.”

What the hell is this shit? “Who are you, Liz Taylor?” Nevertheless I close the door behind us with

my body weight and lean against it. Yeah, I’m not sure why either. Maybe because the prospect of

dragging Mills out by his hair after a four hour rehearsal isn’t all that tempting.

Mills looks up at me a little sheepishly. “Sorry for barging in like this. I’ve been waiting for an

opportune moment to talk to you, but it just never came. So here I am.”

“I noticed that,” I reply dryly. “So what brings me the displeasure of your presence?”

“James,” he simply says, and a weird moment of silence follows.

I ignore the uneasy feeling that name brings about, and give Mills a look. “How about this: whatever

it is, I don’t care.”

He tilts his head to the side and looks at me thoughtfully. “I think you do though. You’ll want to hear

this. Or possibly you don’t want to hear this, because I guess it kinda sucks in a way, but it also doesn’t,

which makes it so important.”

I almost smile. “Yeah… See, I get the feeling you’re confusing me with someone who speaks your

language.”

“It’s complicated, okay? I’m trying to explain it…” he trails off, and we both know he was about to

say “in a way you’d understand” - and I think he doesn’t begin to realize how wise a decision it was to

leave that sentence unfinished. Mills sighs deeply and looks at me with his stupid big blue eyes like he’s

the one finding this situation less than thrilling. You’ve got no idea how close I am to physically kicking

you out, boy.

He continues, slowly and calmly. “I just can’t let this go on any longer. Because it’s insane, you and

James.”

“It may have escaped your notice, but there is no ‘Foley and me’.” Why am I even talking to Mills?

But deep down, I’m somewhat curious why he came here. Damn. But what on earth does he want from

me?

He sighs a little. “I know. And that’s what’s so insane. Look, Rizzo. I know you’re aware of how I…

felt about you. Even when I was with James. And when I told him that, he did something amazing.

Because he is a wonderful friend. And I think you really don’t quite deserve him, but I know the two of

you… you had something. Something James and I never had. It’s like… you get him somehow. I don’t

know.”

“Is this going somewhere?” I haven’t felt the need for a smoke in a long time, but I crave one

desperately right now. What is all this bullshit he’s telling me about Foley and me having had a “special

something”? Special my ass. The one thing that was special about it was that especially messed up

break-up right out of nowhere. I can feel the anger and hurt stirring again deep inside, fiery and

unforgiving, but I keep a neutral, slightly bored expression.

“Just let me finish, okay? Did James ever tell you why he ended things with you?”

I can feel a little frown on my forehead, just for a second, but Mills spots it. Asshole.

“Thought as much.” He smiles a little, sympathetically. I think I may have to punch a geek after all.

My fist clenches and unclenches on its own account, but at least it wipes the damn smile off of his face.

Mills finds the nerve to look into my eyes. “He did it for me. He did it because I couldn’t stand

seeing the two of you together. He did it because he didn’t want to hurt me more.”

I can feel my heart hammering madly in my chest as I’m trying to process his words. What is he

saying? That J did this shit to me so that his BFF didn’t get his precious feelings hurt? Does that mean

he tore me apart, ripped me into pieces and trampled on me just because Casey Dearest was getting all

teary-eyed when he saw us hanging out? That’s the reason? Seriously? I don’t believe this. All this time,

I was thinking god knows what. I thought I was the one to blame somehow. That I’d done something

Foley simply couldn’t deal with. That, I could have understood. But this? Forget that.

My fist clenches again like it has a mind of its own, and I stare at Mills. “Time’s up,” I finally say

quietly, but the threat is so evident that he practically jumps up from the bed. “Get out.”

“Rizzo, you have to understand that this had nothing to do with the way James feels about you. It

was a huge sacrifice he made for me, and I know he regrets it. And I feel awful because I suspected he

might do something like that and I let him. It was selfish of me. Things were over between him and me

way before you managed to come between us. We never should have been together. I realize that now.

So I guess I have no right to hate you for it. Or to make both of you suffer because of how you went

behind my back.”

He takes a deep breath and his stupid voice trembles slightly, making me want to punch him so hard,